When bacon makes you feel guilty

Its one of those mornings when I feel guilty of being an unprepared mother....so guilty, that I send an email to each child's teacher warning them of my mess ups and to please make sure their zippers are zipped, belts are buckled and if you don't mind, just run your fingers through their hair so that it looks a little brushed.  In my defense this is only the twentieth second morning since school started that it hasn't gone as planned.  I should be proud of myself!
  They have 50 minutes before they have to be out waiting for the bus....that's just ten minutes shy of an hour!  AND all they have to do is put food in their mouth and pick up the clothes in front of them and put them on their body...that's all!  They don't have to make their own lunches, or breakfast, and they don't even have to get their own clothes ready!  Its all prepared for them by their very loving mother.
  Jackson has taken on a whole new level of getting ready in the mornings!  Brandon junior is spending 45 minutes on the toilet in the mornings!  And I am just appalled by how this behavior can start so early in males!  In fact, I must be honest....I envy this behavior!  I wish that I could sit on the toilet with the door locked for just 5 minutes....5 MINUTES...that's it!  Another concept I do not understand about this behavior is the shedding of all the clothing!  I just can't imagine myself sitting on the commode naked, will all my clothes in a heap on the floor! Is that really necessary!
  The entire 45 minutes of this morning is spent with me going back and forth to the door yelling out a count down to how much longer he has to get dressed, and I really don't know why I choose to yell out, "10 minutes Jack....5 minutes! Jackson Mason do you realize you have two minutes to get dressed!" He has NO concept of time! He finally gets done and goes to the table to finish his bacon!  I yell, "you don't have time for bacon, go get dressed!"  I put his shirt and shorts on and I hand him the belt, I open the door and see the bus at the end of the street, heading our way!  "Hurry the bus is coming!"  I throw on his socks, (they are side ways) and slip on his shoes and grab his book sack. Avie is yelling from the bathroom that she has to tee tee!  Ahhhhhh!!!! She comes running out the door with her skirt unzipped and shoes in hand...it felt like the bus was waiting on us forever!  I finally get them both on and wave them off like it was just a typical morning.  Walking back to the door, I realize I am wearing pajama pants with kitty's on them and no bra! And....Oh look, I have another kid inside....he has been sitting in his own poop for 30 minutes!  I pick Cole up and on the floor see Jack's two pieces of bacon that he so badly wanted to eat and realize everything I forgot to do...zip Avie's pants, button that top button on her shirt, brush Jacks hair....and I feel like such a terrible mom!  He didn't even get to eat his bacon, and for some reason that made me feel the worse!
 

I'm going to finish drinking my coffee and look forward to a redo tomorrow.