When bacon makes you feel guilty

Its one of those mornings when I feel guilty of being an unprepared mother....so guilty, that I send an email to each child's teacher warning them of my mess ups and to please make sure their zippers are zipped, belts are buckled and if you don't mind, just run your fingers through their hair so that it looks a little brushed.  In my defense this is only the twentieth second morning since school started that it hasn't gone as planned.  I should be proud of myself!
  They have 50 minutes before they have to be out waiting for the bus....that's just ten minutes shy of an hour!  AND all they have to do is put food in their mouth and pick up the clothes in front of them and put them on their body...that's all!  They don't have to make their own lunches, or breakfast, and they don't even have to get their own clothes ready!  Its all prepared for them by their very loving mother.
  Jackson has taken on a whole new level of getting ready in the mornings!  Brandon junior is spending 45 minutes on the toilet in the mornings!  And I am just appalled by how this behavior can start so early in males!  In fact, I must be honest....I envy this behavior!  I wish that I could sit on the toilet with the door locked for just 5 minutes....5 MINUTES...that's it!  Another concept I do not understand about this behavior is the shedding of all the clothing!  I just can't imagine myself sitting on the commode naked, will all my clothes in a heap on the floor! Is that really necessary!
  The entire 45 minutes of this morning is spent with me going back and forth to the door yelling out a count down to how much longer he has to get dressed, and I really don't know why I choose to yell out, "10 minutes Jack....5 minutes! Jackson Mason do you realize you have two minutes to get dressed!" He has NO concept of time! He finally gets done and goes to the table to finish his bacon!  I yell, "you don't have time for bacon, go get dressed!"  I put his shirt and shorts on and I hand him the belt, I open the door and see the bus at the end of the street, heading our way!  "Hurry the bus is coming!"  I throw on his socks, (they are side ways) and slip on his shoes and grab his book sack. Avie is yelling from the bathroom that she has to tee tee!  Ahhhhhh!!!! She comes running out the door with her skirt unzipped and shoes in hand...it felt like the bus was waiting on us forever!  I finally get them both on and wave them off like it was just a typical morning.  Walking back to the door, I realize I am wearing pajama pants with kitty's on them and no bra! And....Oh look, I have another kid inside....he has been sitting in his own poop for 30 minutes!  I pick Cole up and on the floor see Jack's two pieces of bacon that he so badly wanted to eat and realize everything I forgot to do...zip Avie's pants, button that top button on her shirt, brush Jacks hair....and I feel like such a terrible mom!  He didn't even get to eat his bacon, and for some reason that made me feel the worse!
 

I'm going to finish drinking my coffee and look forward to a redo tomorrow.

Cole's Birth Story

Wow... Sometimes I look over at Cole and I am taken by surprise!  I should still be pregnant, but now I have a one month old, sleeping all warm and cozy in his cradle.   We had not anticipated to be having a baby 7 days before Christmas!  Everything was normal that weekend and I felt fine.  Brandon's work Christmas Party was that Saturday evening. The kids spent the night with my mom, and Brandon and I enjoyed sleeping late the next morning.  We picked up the kids Sunday afternoon and began our normal routine to prepare for a school week.  During the night, I remember dreaming that something was hurting a little more than usual but it wasn't enough to completely wake me.  Then at around 1:30 I felt a gush that woke me out of a dead sleep, and I thought my water had broke! I got up and went to the bathroom and found my pantie liner soaked with blood!  A rush of panic came over me and I called for Brandon. In a matter of minutes he had both kids loaded up and ready to go before I even got completely dressed. I climbed into the truck and remember thinking a million things on the 5 minute drive to Lane.  I was paranoid because I had not felt him move.  We checked into the hospital and ALL I wanted was to be hooked up to an ultrasound machine....I just wanted to know my baby was okay.  We were finally seen by a doctor after a million questions and he preformed an ultrasound. I remember feeling such a relief after just hearing his heartbeat.  He was okay!  I didn't even realize but I was having a few contractions, nothing major, and after he checked me, I was not dilated. Jack and Avie were still sitting in the truck waiting for Aunt Rhonda to pick them up, and I was so worried about them being left alone. I kept asking Brandon to check on them constantly!  I received a Brethine shot in my hip to stop contractions and they monitored me till morning.  By early morning my contractions were not stopping and the doctor decided to give me IV fluids for possible dehydration.  After 4 sticks and my vein blowing (whatever that means) from the nurse trying to start an IV, I felt a wave of heat over me and almost fainted. I asked her to stop, and that I needed a cool rag! She finally went and got another nurse, and she was able to start my IV.  Brandon went home to help Rhonda get the kids ready for school.  By 9:00 I was still having contractions and the doctor decided to give me a dose of magnesium sulfate, which makes you feel extremely HOT and weak.  I remember sweating a lot and the nurse went and got me a box fan! I was still not dilated and having a small amount of bleeding.  By noon, we are still waiting to see the doctor again and I can sense aggravation in Brandon.  I am still having contractions that are now causing me some pain and are about 5 minutes apart.  The doctor finally made it in, and wants me to continue to stay to be monitored,  but Brandon feels otherwise.  He decides that we are going to Womens!  I just wanted him to drive me there, but because I already had an IV, and for insurance purposes, I had to be transported by ambulance. Within the next hour, my contractions are becoming more painful and are coming every 3-5 minutes.  I am finally loaded up and have to ride by myself so Brandon can drive the truck just in case I am discharged to go home.  By now I'm in some serious pain, and I feel like a complete wimp because supposedly I am not dilated!  The poor old man riding in the back with me probably thought I was nuts!  My contractions were coming every 3 minutes, and every time I was grabbing onto the side of the bed, and I'm pretty sure my face looked like 50 shades of pain!  It was the worse ride ever!  Very bumpy!  We finally made it to Womans and as they are unloading me I feel a big contraction coming.  I yell to them "Stop!  Don't move!"  They actually listened and waited until the contraction passed.  Once I got into a room, things started to move pretty fast.  I was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and it was evident that I was having some pretty serious contractions!  She offered to give me some Stadol to help relieve the pain.  By this time I was squeezing Brandon's hand so hard I was hurting him! They went by Lanes medical records, which indicated that I was not dilated and decided to give me another dose of magnesium sulfate!  So again I am in extreme pain, sweating buckets, and my whole body feels like lead!  My doctor comes in to check me and I am        7 cm!  "What! But the doctor at Lane said I wasn't dilated!"  I yell.  "Well Honey, you having this baby today!" They rush in and start prepping me for delivery.  I receive all kinds of antibiotics and steroids to help the babies lungs.  I am dozing in and out from the medication and my contractions began to slow down.  After about two hours, I deliver Cole Frazier Mason in an operating room after two pushes, and my first vaginal delivery... I'm so glad I got to experience that. He was beautiful and perfect and had the sweetest faint cry when he came out.  I caressed his tiny hand and he was whisked to the NICU.  He weighed 3lbs  12oz. and 16 inches long.  He was a BIG boy for 9 weeks early!  After delivering the placenta, my doctor could see the dark spots caused by placental abruption, which causes premature labor.  His first photo was taken via Dr. Pernicero's cell phone, both of our phones were dead.

Despite everything that happened, we were so lucky that it turned out as good as it did.  God was amazing and had His hand on this family.  There are so many things that could have gone wrong that day, that did not. If you look up abrupted placenta or hear stories of other experiences its very scary, and some outcomes are losses.  I never once thought that he wasn't going to be okay.  The Holy Spirit was a big comforter that day and I am certain He was over Cole and I.